Friday, July 30, 2010

Likes and a Dislike From This Week

I like the way my freshly bathed baby looked so content and cozy being wrapped in his towel and cuddled in my arms tonight.

I liked how adorable my freshly dried and naked baby was when he decided he didn't want daddy to put on a diaper as it was far more interesting to twist around and play naked.

I like the way he plays with more purpose now.  He looks at things, touches them, pounds on them, examines them now.  His attention span on an object is considerably longer and he does not always attempt to put all things in his mouth at all times but appears to be intrigued by looking at and testing the object he is playing with.  Often the object is a chair or remote control.

I like the way waking up lately has not been a simple process of opening his eyes but a mini production that lasts minutes.  It does not begin with opening eyes but with grunts and sounds as he stretches, twists, rolls over, arches, pushes himself up, lays back down, rubs his face, and then tests the light with his eyes.  It's a beautiful free flowing ritual.  Today, Maggie, our feline friend, jumped on the bed just after Enzo's eyes were opened.  He loves animals.  He gets quite excited and smiles and giggles when he sees them and he did the same this time.  But his excitement outweighed his muscle control which comes to him over several minutes when waking.  His eyes went wide and his smile did the same.  He pushed himself to touch her but made it only a fraction of the distance on the bed and came down into a soft blankety world of grogginess, smile intact.  In short time he was ready to mount another expedition of half a foot but Maggie had gone on to follow her own muse leaving Enzo to find his interests stimulated by the pillows, blankets, and dad that he had beside him.  He looked quite satisfied with what he had.

I didn't like the fear I felt during dinner.  Enzo had coughed a few times while eating rice cereal followed by him looking up with mouth open, still, and not making a sound for what was probably only 2 seconds.  In that time a horrible feeling of fear spread through me with the preparation to act if he was choking.  He wasn't and all was perfectly within the realm of normal.  But, I disliked that feeling of fear pervading my body, radiating from my heart outward as adrenaline infused my blood.  I was simultaneously scared, refreshing my mind on what I had learned in CPR class, and calculating the most efficient way to extract him from his high chair and get him into position over my arm.  The mammalian brain is a fascinating device.  I have done well in my life to separate myself from attachment to material objects through logic and rational thinking.  Doing this has saved me considerable stress in life and made for more interesting adventures.  But no logic I can try persuades me to remove even the slightest attachment of my being to my son, not even to relieve myself of stress.  My only peace comes in being with him or knowing that he is with his mother.  This is an attachment I shall have to deal with but one that I am willing to excuse so early in my fatherhood.  Perhaps the change will come naturally and is part of my normal evolution in this roll.

I like knowing there are places I can go and be as comfortable as I care to be like I was last weekend when Enzo played in the pool for the first time at Matt and Mitra's house.

I like the excitement in Tami's voice when she called me at work Wednesday to tell me that she just watched Enzo pull himself up from the floor to standing for the first time by holding on to our bed.  This is one trick he seems to have really taken to as he pulls himself up to, or nearly to, a standing position often now.

I very much liked receiving another call from Tami that afternoon telling me that she just watched Enzo crawl for the first time!  And, though I wasn't there, I would get to watch him do it!  Enzo had been playing with his Grandma Phyllis on the floor and playing with a wooden truck that his Grandpa Hun had gotten for him.  Tami pulled out her phone to video record him pushing the giant truck around but he stopped playing with it when she got the video going.  Luckily she kept recording because he then crawled for the first time.  He's been army crawling, pulling/pushing himself around with his belly sliding on the floor, for a while.  But this was his first torso-in-the-air locomotion.  And without further ado, presented for your viewing pleasure.... Ta-Daaaaaa....

1 comment:

  1. You go, Enzo! There'll be no stopping him now!