Monday, July 25, 2011

Ana Uku Gold

Ana's first two initials are AU.  Au is the atomic symbol for gold on the periodic table of elements.  My Angel of gold is doing great and she is growing so big.  She is becoming expert at smiling gorgeous and it's pretty easy to get her to show off her beautiful smile these days.  She really is so substantial now; a real growing baby girl.  I love her.  More and more often she is happy to be held by me but she still prefers her mother's arms above all others.  When I have her and she happens to fuss then I jokingly tell her that I am just going to keep on loving her until she loves me back.  Then I'll keep on loving her forever.  I say jokingly because as the parent of a baby without recognized formal language skills I have the privilege and right to  interpret her wants and needs as I choose.  And I choose to interpret about 60% of her every move and look that she makes as "I love you."  So by definition, mine, she already does love me (and her mother, but that's pretty obvious) to a tremendous degree, especially when considering the ratio of her love to her body weight.  Pretty impressive.  The other 40% of her communication I attribute as having something to do with breast milk.

Ana really is growing fast.  I remind myself to appreciate every moment of this because it will never come back.  I tell myself to take it all in because this moment is special and will soon pass.  I tell myself not to resent the passing moments because the coming moments will also be so special that I would not wish to miss or delay them.  Don't rush the now, and don't slow it down either, just take it all in.  This is especially true as we don't plan to have any other beauties though it would appear that we have a gift at making gorgeous lovable children.

My capacity to adore and love my children has increased since Ana was born but the time that I have to love and adore and appreciate has not increased.  I wonder if I give her enough time and attention as she deserves.  The work of parent is a little easier but it's difficult to get enough time for play and staring at each other in to fully satisfy what I imagine is an insatiable desire to consume every experience with these children and still find time to sleep and shower.  I maybe could pull this off for a third or a fourth child but I honestly don't know how parents of well loved children in very large families pull it off.  I guess it's partly due to the fact that one person is not doing all of the loving.  Between Tami and family and some friends my kids get a lot more love and attention than they would if I was the sole parent and family around for them.  Knowing that is comforting when I wonder if I give them enough.  I wonder often if I give Ana the attention she deserves when I can't imagine how it is as much as I gave to Enzo at this age.  Well, as long as I am able, they each can have all the love, attention, and affection I have to give and I'll hope that it's enough.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, Randy, she is lovely! I'm quite impressed with your parenting and Tami are doing what a lot of parents are unable to do. Bless you both. And bless both of your children, they are lovely and smart and really quite special!