Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Enzo Grows Up

Enzo grew up in one night. It was the first night he spent away from us, the night his sister was born.

He stayed with his Auntie Tia (Tami's sister Traci) when we went to the hospital for delivery. He spent two nights away from us as we stayed at the hospital for two nights. That was not easy for us; we had never stayed the night away from him before. We were so happy to have our Ana with us that first night but it was difficult to not have our Enzo with us. The next day we knew Traci would bring Enzo to visit and meet his sister. We were both curious how he would take having a sibling. He is 16 months old. Would he be jealous? Angry? Tami and I talked about this but mostly we were looking forward to seeing him when he visited.

And then The Kid arrived. He had grown up over night. I don't know for sure how much he had actually changed in a night as a result of being away from us or returning to a new family dynamic. Maybe a little. I don't know how much of this change was only perceived by me. Maybe most, maybe all.

But Enzo had grown up. I picked him up when he came in and he was sooo much heavier. I had only been a day without lifting him. His legs are so much thicker. He seems more thoughtful. In one day he had become more mature, bigger, more responsible. I don't know how much of this is in his body or in my mind, but the results will be the same very soon. When you change your perspective about someone, changing expectations of them, the way you speak to them, the way you listen to them, then that someone changes. And so Enzo will be more responsible, mature, and grown up now because something changed for me.

When Enzo walked in to the room at the hospital, it at first appeared our worst fears were true. He was sad, unhappy, didn't look at his sister and was avoiding us. He just looked at us with a sad face. But it wasn't a problem with his sister. Traci said he was very good with her. But, seeing us again, I believe, made him realize that he missed us and I suspect he was dealing with some trust and abandonment emotions at that point when he found us in front of him again. It took a few minutes of sympathy, a whole bunch of kisses, sweet words and playfulness, but Enzo came back to loving comfort that day and met his sister. You want to hear sad? He was crying when he left as we were to stay one more night. That was pretty much the worst good bye ever with him.

The next day, we were together again as a family, a bigger family.

Enzo has definitely met his sister now and taken on a sweet role as brother. I look forward to watching this relationship develop over the years. When I placed Ana in her swing, Enzo started rocking it for her all by himself. When I gave Ana her first sponge bath, Enzo stood next to me and quietly watched even as she began to fuss and cry out in hunger before I was finished. When Tami and I played with her and watched her last night, Enzo ever so carefully walked around her, sat down, and said "baby" as he touched her belly with one finger. He calls his sister baby. When she called out in hunger from the other room this morning, Enzo told me it was baby. He is grown up. He is more mature. He is more responsible. And thankfully, he has mostly forgiven us for not being with him for two nights.

I love our Enzo. I love our Ana.

1 comment:

  1. Congratulations, Randy, Tamatha, Enzo and Ana! So happy for you guys! Among other similarities, I had the same thought when Eva came to see her sisters for the first time. She was SO HEAVY as compared to the last time I saw her. Radically different! :) Blessings to you guys! Much love from down south, The Ramons (not the band).