Sunday, December 6, 2009

Dear Santa,


I can't say for certain how you run your operation, but I can guess a little. I assume being good will qualify one for most gifts. But for some of the gifts out there, I assume one has to DO GOOD. That gift you see in the picture, clearly that is one of the ones you really have to DO good for. I've not done that much good this year. But, I imagine good deeds are like crimes committed in a year- cyclical. Perhaps this year there was a really low turn out on good deeds and that would move me up on the list. Also, maybe the top couple tens of thousands of truly worthy individuals aren't even interested. That would be crazy... but who am I to judge the noble? So, it's a long shot, but I thought I would put my name out there on the list of interested people. There are only twelve of these available so I'm not holding my breath. What are my qualifications? As I said, they are not that much, but I truly have worked this year on seeing the world from the perspectives of others. I've considered how my thoughts and actions affect others, how I sometimes propagate injustice and how I reap rewards without being the most deserving. And, I've started working to reverse such injustice. Humble beginnings, but I am happy to have actually done some good this year. That's my whole application. Now, Mr. Clause, just in case you don't know what is in that picture, let me tell you. THE F'N MOON!

So here is the deal. A book called Moonfire is being released to commemorate the 40th anniversary of Apollo II and there are a couple of special editions available. Twelve of these special editions include a rock from the moon! Now Santa, I have all that I need and then some. I certainly do not need my own moon rock. I'm quite okay sharing the one in Washington D.C. with the world. So, this is not a matter of need, it's a matter of "holly wow- I would love to touch that every day!" And to be fair, I have way more than my fair share of wants satisfied already. But, wouldn't you know it, every time I look there is a little more want left. Want is like room for ice cream. There will always be more. Now, I would be happy to acquire one of the twelve myself or pass on the request to family, but the $90,500 price tag is a little much. So, if you and your elves think you can work something out, and enough of the do gooders out there took the year off, and if those that didn't are just too crazy to appreciate this magic rock, well... somewhere a few hundred thousand names down your list of good, please find my name with moon rock written next to it.

Here is the link to learn more about it.

Thanks,

Randy

P.S.
In the mean time, my beautiful wife and I have started preparing our Christmas tree. I'm including a picture of the work in progress so that you'll recognize it if you need to know where to leave a certain rock. That's our Kid with Tami. He may be out and about by Christmas too. He's a good kid, I have a hunch. Feel free to get him a rock, too.

P.P.S.
We don't have milk. We sometimes have rice milk or soy milk. Once in a while, almond milk. Just a warning before you take a big gulp. It's good though. Also, I can leave out cookies, but I tend to eat them when they are out. So, get here early if you want a cookie.

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