Thursday, July 30, 2009

Peeing in Flip-Flops

Now that I know we are having a boy, I'm starting to think about boy-specific issues as a father-to-be. For example, I will have to teach the boy the art of peeing in a urinal while wearing flip-flops. I suppose most women readers will not know what I am talking about. I guess men that don't wear flip-flops won't either. When you wear shoes in front of a urinal, the only evidence of the fine urinal mist that splashing pee creates is the rust pattern on old metal dividers in public restrooms. But with flip-flops, you can feel it. I know- gross. Peeing on one's self isn't extremely bad, but splashing the residual pee of others is pretty undesirable. That's why, as a loving father, I'll have to know when the time is right to take my son aside and say "Son, aim for the inside edge of either side so it will swoosh around the back and make a whirlpool." That's important information and different from the technique when peeing at home. At home, it's always best to aim for the middle unless feeling particularly scientific and experimental. The bowl is deeper and so feet are safe from splashes and the center provides for the largest margin of error in case of distraction.

There are of course other issues to consider, some that are time sensitive. The most pressing issues I can think of are to circumcise or not and how to change a baby boy's diaper without getting peed on.

From the research I've done so far, it looks like circumcision is the wrong idea medically. It certainly does not sound appealing physically. I have to weigh this against the fact that we live in modern times in the U.S. and there is value in fitting in with one's time and place. Here and now, circumcision is the norm, but it sure seems like an odd thing to do to a person. Tami and I will definitely be talking through this before The Kid comes.

As for the diaper changing, I'm not certain there is a trick, but there must be. I've heard how boy babies can pee up on to the person changing the diaper. With so many thousands of years behind us, surely someone has figured out a fool proof trick to counter this phenomena.

Those are two issue for my wife and I to consider and discuss between now and December 17th-ish. Feel free to comment if you can think of others, have an opinion on the above, or know the trick to changing a baby boy's diaper.

1 comment:

  1. I don't think I needed to know all of that. Kinda gross.